Book Review: "Smart, Successful, and Abused" By Angela Mailis

I've always noted as a survivor of domestic violence and malignant narcissism that you truly must live in this world of fight or flight to truly understand the power dynamics, control, and struggles that encompass the entrapment.

It's a mind over matter situation in which many women surely are smart, attractive, and have everything they could ever need yet still stay in hopes of change, out of fear of retaliation, out of purely low self esteem and or confidence.

So much is at stake yet finances, medical conditions, housing and or transportation issues all of these and more prevent such departure.

Many women I've spoken with over the years in discussing the matter reveal that they have no where else to go.

They may have become isolated and or embarrassed by their abusive situation and may have lost their sole forms of support from family, friends, even co workers.

It's not something you can discuss openly over a cup of tea and it's not something that is often believed or seen as credible as these toxic individuals carry themselves in a light that would never be compared to abusive tendencies.

In addition the legal system and legislature regarding domestic violence has yet to catch up to the times.

More women are abused and or killed from abuse then war time horrors.

That is fact yet we still believe a piece of paper such as protection from abuse order or a simple slap on the wrist for an ICC violation might prevent the next sudden and unexplained attack?

Having been left bankrupt, lt unemployed after giving up career to raise 3 kids solo, having been left in extreme poverty, and having been homeless w/o income assets or savings or for that matter credit I can assure you it's all worth the pain of leaving.

Being independent and or single again and having to face the life of dating is not quite what anyone wants after many years of marriage or in my case 11 yrs marriage and 13 yrs together yet we don't always need to have someone to be successful and this is one issue I have with this book.

While entering or exiting the single world is a part of it all it's not the end all.

As for the remainder of the book it describes in detail the notion that abuse is not just physical scars but every form of abuse and readers must be reminded of this notion.

So often they think that belittling someone, or bullying, or even talking down and being rude or obnoxious is not abuse and all of this including the latter emotional/verbal abuse is still abuse.

This is a great new read for anyone wondering the why's and how's as it's much more complex especially for those with children who have proof of abuse yet the courts idea of having a two parent household outweighs the abusive nature.

Kill or be killed is simply not important to the family courts and it's costing women their lives and that of their children!

You cannot force love!