Book Review: "Living Brave" By Shannon Dingle

Brutally Honest! Transparent! Tenacious!

It's not everyday I'm stopped in my tracks by a woman's voice- so clear, so honest, so much needed in today's cruel and heartless world.

Shannon Dingle knows how to command one's attention through intellect, empathy, compassion, and love and a writing style that's all her own. That uniqueness came across even in the prologue.

As a survivor of abuse myself I felt a personal oneness to her story in both her challenges, her triumphs, and her healing concepts.

It's true we cannot hide behind the facts. We must express ourselves the way God intended. While it's a tragedy that occurred it's her tenacity that triumphed for not only herself but her family, friends, and acquaintances. Her desire to help others to heal should be commended and appreciated.

Imagine healing a world through one's own written words. This is what Shannon Dingle brings when she discusses not just faith but heartbreak that upended the normality she once lived.
I've not lost a husband per say to death but did lose one to his own toxicity through malignant narcissism upon divorcing roughly eight years ago. While he's still alive his mental anguish placed upon those who once loved him has caused severe destruction that'll take years to fully comprehend and overcome as financial abuse is often worse than physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, and psychological. All of which me and my three kids endured after being left bankrupt, homeless, and without assets, income, or credit. When you have a career to stand upon you're blessed. When you've given up your career and masters degree to tend to a disabled son for twenty years you cannot simply return to work where you left off and become hired. Ten year job search continues.

While I cannot relate to her loss in the same way I can relate to the notion of the 'niceties' of others meaning to help but instead adding more hurt to the process. In fact when my niece passed in 2016 I reached out to others for comfort only to be ignored by an entire basketball team, a church, my children's school, and close friends. I couldn't believe that life didn't stop for those like it did for us after a tragic loss. The truth of the matter is women and men having many reasons why they stay in abuse. Why they don't speak out sooner. Why they stay silent for eternity.

What hit me hardest within this new work was her loss didn't break her but instead repaired and reignited her. It literally returned her to the original plan. God's plan.

When Shannon discussed issues such as rape, sexual abuse, human trafficking, incestuous abuse, binge drinking, bulimia, attempted suicide at only 11 years of age - I paused, breathed, and said I know that pain. I lived that pain and in many ways I'm still there. My heart went out to Shannon. I wanted to call her up and express my love to her as if she might have known I was there with her in spirit.

I don't know if you ever truly overcome this pain as much as you learn new ways to process it and move forward in a healthy, positive, and reinforced manner through recovery and renewal.

Speech therapy with those same letters took me back to a time that I hated in elementary school.

I felt ostracized and singled out and because of ADHD and other issues I couldn't quite 'level up' in those earlier days. My mind worked backwards and basics like telling time seemed like a challenge that would never be learned.

Imagine as an adult carrying all that baggage like Shannon and then finding your love hit by a hard wave, knocking him backwards, hitting his head, and breaking his neck resulting in an extreme loss of much needed oxygen to sustain brain function.

Add insult to injury for this family as the requirements for North Carolina requires one to wait 24 hours to have a severe traumatic injury confirmed. Doing so with 6 children , waiting on your every word about 'Daddy' had to have taken a tremendous amount of energy and soul searching.

When I used to model years ago and became lethargic after vomiting up food to sustain an unsustainable weight using anorexia I learned that life throws curves. While the world proclaims that being born a certain color provides a certain lifestyle I found the exact opposite.

I've struggled my entire life and I commend Shannon for discussing some heavy topics that have become taboo in social media and societal concerns that fancy myths over truths.
These topics along with her views throw readers into a powerfully new insight that is refreshing yet inviting and opens up the lane of travel for similar discussions to take place.
We all have a story to tell and what I've learned through volunteering for twenty years is that there's always someone worse off than you.

Shannon Dingle discussed her issues with pregnancy and the aftermath of those medical complications such as MRSA.

She proceeded to discuss PTSD and the trauma she endured throughout her life.

As I sat reading this I recalled how my own placental abruption resulted in a loss of two pints of blood and how if my own mother wasn't present working as OBGYN that day I would've died as I needed a blood transfusion immediately. Now keep in mind I have a telephone book size of medical issues including: Chronic bronchitis, 20 yrs pneumonia, HUS, severe microcytic hypochromic anemia, severe spinal stenosis, atelecstasis, Raynaud's with zero blood flow 1st digit, lock jaw and teeth grinding with hair loss from severe stress, vertigo, COPD, asthma, allergies, sinus tachycardia, pre-diabetes, and on and on.

Then I recalled how recently several politicians discussed this same situation with woman of color and how deprived our medical system is for the impoverished like myself in extreme poverty. Ironically, I wasn't deterred and went on to have two more high risk elective c-sections both with complications including SUA and jaundice respectively.

I recall how my son was life flighted, spent two months in NICU, how my food was stolen at the Ronald McDonald House, how I was stuck exiting the bed after an emergency c-section without stomach muscles, and how I did it all myself as an unwed mother on the verge of death. The doctors gave my son and myself less than 10% chance of survival. I recalled how I asked God why this happened and how doctors didn't even know what caused vater syndrome but could only say it was some type of genetic abnormality.

I remember watching the news around that time nearly 21 years ago and seeing another girl with same but more severe condition. I went back to the NICU and thanked God that my son was alive and not as severe as this young lady.

How many of us go into this form of self awareness and think God why did you let this happen on your watch?

Then I remembered when I was homeless in a park sitting in my car with an emergency blanket provided by local emergency personnel for free. I watched an older woman dig for food out of the trash. I thanked God that I had the ability to go get food from a food bank that day using my car.

Questions about why would anyone complain is a common concern? It was for me when I learned about having severe anemia that would prevent me from having major back surgery for severe spinal stenosis. Sadly, my legs collapsed from working two weeks straight with CEO to deliver food for Thanksgiving. I nearly lost my big toe to frostbite after my cheap Kmart boots got wet while working to park cars and as a runner unpaid to transport food to trunks of their cars so they wouldn't go hungry. People would offer hope until they learned I was not only a volunteer but a recipient myself and that I knew their pain much like when I volunteered with a woman's shelter and met a domestic violence victim with the same result. Her eyes showed her pain. Her body showed her scars. Her words showed the magnitude of her strength. Yet, that hope was present.

Shannon knows that HOPE that I speak of as we share that same HOPE.

This is why I volunteer to have gratitude and to not become complacent in my daily troubles and thoughts but rather become proactive as opposed to reactive.

Allow me to note here: I'm a Catholic female usher and minister of Hospitality. I was volunteering in this capacity when the collection basket was ripped out of my hands simply because I was female among all male older white ushers.

I was traumatized all over again and was afraid to reach out in that capacity. I stayed silent and went to a different church sitting in a pew looking down at the ground.

One day I got the courage to ask about volunteering needless to say I'm once again an usher.
The moral of the story my friends is to never give up. That son I mentioned earlier will be graduating college at the end of this month. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of the newborn baby and its parents that had to endure such pain in the NICU that day.

I'll close by saying this: I used to complain about my back pain until an unknown woman took 2 hrs to walk across the street to arrive to church on time. I never complained a day after because this woman had to literally drag both legs in opposite directions and hang on to a metal wire wrapped around the telephone poll every day to lift herself up over the curb with her walker to get to church.

You realize how blessed you are when you have absolutely nothing left to give but yourself, your time, your love, and your insight.

Keep shining and never forget where you came from and where you're going.
This book is a must read for many reasons and first and foremost is clarity in understanding that nothing is a mystery to God.

We are all God's children and he's got our back.
Give it up to God.

Thank you to Shannon Dingle, the pub, NetGalley, and Amazon Kindle for this ARC in exchange for this honest review