How's a woman to win given the biases each of us faces today?That fear of true perfection lest we feel disqualified weighs heavily upon our shoulders.
Women are being held to higher standards in all walks of life.
When it comes to careers if they are intelligent and speak their minds they'll be seen as biotches and aggressive.
If they venture out to seek a Presidency and break that glass ceiling they will be told they are not believable nor credible and the smear campaign will be elicited.
Everything from their viewpoints to their health will be questioned and not taken seriously especially considering that they do more in terms of caretaking, put themselves last on the list of priorities, and often tolerate more pain.
When gaslighting is in play it's a different ball game entirely.
Victims may be subjected to disputing the gaslighter's events, their version of the narrative, and yes even their side of the story.
It's a mind game that leaves one thinking and feeling as if they are crazy because it's an intentional force placed upon them by the gaslighter.
One such experience that the author shared was with the story of Dirty John.
A sicko, con artist, liar, and fraud who used pics of woman to send to their children's schools as a form of blackmail.
This tactic is an attempt to silence their targets/victims and prevent them from telling the truths and their stories.
The author notes: The upshot; regardless of their own gender, people tend to assume that men in historically male dominated positions of power are more competent than women, unless this assumption is explicitly contradicted by further information.
As a strong tenacious feminist I feel this rejection daily for going after the higher roles.
I've been called every name in the book for simply refusing to back down and expose what I call the 'big boy network' and I will not stop.
I've also been left bankrupt, homeless, and LT unemployed after divorcing a malignant narcissist so I understand fully the mind games utilized as I now council others.
The terms such as "interpersonally hostile," disliked, pushy, selfish, conniving, are just some terms women may have been subjected too.
However, I'll never forget upon filing a protection order of abuse and having an attorney tell me I deserved the abuse as my ex-spouse from an 11 yr marriage and the mother of his three kids allowed the door to the room to close upon me.
It's this notion that women aren't equals and that we somehow should take a back seat and not upset the apple cart that gets me to this day.
The worst story about male privilege I possess: The Catholic church I spent two years serving as a female usher told me the men need time to come around to this new line of thinking after they forcibly ripped the collection basket out of my hands at the back of the church during Sunday Mass and the priest on duty that day decided to ignore it and pretend he never seen me before.
I have never felt more broken than after this experience but that's not all not by a long shot because shortly after this experience I sent a cold call email to the President of the local United Way.
I was seeking employment full time to support my kids after divorcing and sought such with a dual masters for the past ten years while living in extreme poverty.
I poured my heart and soul into this request for a job interview and was excited about the possibilities.
I was invited in for the interview and the first question asked :Why have you not been able to get a job?
When I explained the god honest truths: The nepotism in hiring, corruption, economy in which I just lost a job hire because of economic uncertainty, jobs going to friends already working or being saved for friends with felonies on record, or jobs going to the presidents of other major companies, they said I was entitled.
ENTITLED? Now this is a new one...
I was told I came across as entitled because I have a gap in employment having raised kids for 20 yrs while volunteering during all that time full time without pay.
So when I now seek employment after all these volunteer hours and having been the recipient of the nations highest honor: Points of Light Award by our 41st President of the USA (George HW Bush) I'm told I'm entitled...
Yes, folks and their you have it.
Please don't ever tell someone whose lived in extreme poverty and hasn't been able to secure employment for the past 10 years that she's entitled because nobody in their right mind would ever volunteer for twenty years for any reason other than the love of service and helping those in need.
I'm not sure when we went from women's equality to all these injustices and lack of hearsay on women's issues but the pendulum is swinging backwards and our rights are slowly being taken away and it's maddening, disheartening, and insane to watch it play out real time.
I can only pray that we all do our part to keep our stories in the spotlight and not lose our voices.
Thank you to this author for her courage, tenacity, and voice.
No comments:
Post a Comment