I don't believe this was coincidental that I came across Theresa Caputo's Good Mourning two days before my niece's four year anniversary of her passing. I've been a fan of Theresa's for many years & almost had a reading several times.
I've enjoyed reading everyone of her books and in fact went above and beyond to capture them all to read at my local libraries or online.
It's no secret I've been to several of her shows before and after this tragic event that took my niece's life.
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I was so comforted in reading this novel on the anniversary of the exact day of her passing as it was so welcoming as we're all still grieving her momentous loss.
This book isn't just words as it heals from within as you're reading every sentence. It brings comfort and joy in celebrating the memory of our loved ones and moving forward in the grieving process to a healing stage in which we can then give back.
Several of the stories that Theresa shared were not only personal but relatable in that it felt like the same page from my life.
When You're On The Rebound -was one such example- that discussed Spirit wanting us to know that there's value to what you do in your job but that this shouldn't define who you are as a person.
So much of what we do is defined by our labels-mother, wife, husband, father, son, daughter, welder, carpenter, etc.
We need to remember the bare essentials, the back to basics, the living better not bitter motto.
In a world in which hate and anger is being idolized by one side -we need to go high- and not be a part of the madness in helping one another to heal those internal scars we all carry.
Reestablishing your ability to trust others and trust your own judgement above all else isn't easy yet Theresa gives us this option to explore and develop on our own.
I've always loved when couples can divorce amicably and still love from afar while raising kids or even long after the nest is empty. What a pleasure to be cordial and appreciate one another yet not have to fight or bicker daily.
This is what I'm talking about when I say we can all learn the lessons they were meant to teach us.
No-God is not the enemy- he didn't take away a loved one to make you suffer- they have gone on to more detailed experiences and you will one day see them all again.
I've also found peace in strengthening my faith in God especially the Virgin Mary.
Yes, I'm that gal that would sit under her stained glass windows feeling comforted by her presence. Wearing her image on my bracelets from St. Patrick's Cathedral from NYC or simply saying a prayer to her daily.
I'm so glad Theresa mentioned this connection to faith especially in light of the current stressors in all our lives.
I will note not all religion is foul proof as I'm a Catholic who volunteered as the only female usher when the men of the group became worried there jobs were at jeopardy in allowing me in to this all male group. So they pushed me out literally and took my collection basket from me during mass.
Yet, I will not cower, nor hide, nor be silenced and that courage and tenacity only gets stronger with each of these moments in time.
So with this noted-"I'd like you to make one leap of faith and trust that the outcome will be positive."
Or as Annette proudly notes," I've learned we all have crosses to carry. I've learned who my true friends and family are."
On losing one's identity- was another such subject that I enjoyed because it underscores the loss of oneself.
I was in a marriage in which I was a prisoner in my own home. I had lost my voice in the relationship. I went along to get along. We were ultimately two ships passing in the night.
He was a malignant narcissist and left me bankrupt, homeless, LT unemployed without income assets, alimony, or child support.
It took me 4 attorneys to finally get child support and try to reestablish myself , rebuild, and flourish in a more positive light.
I've chased my dreams as Theresa mentioned for the past 10 years since our separation and subsequent divorce. The reason being I'm unable to get employed after 20 yrs of raising kids -even with a dual masters-and 20 years volunteering having earned the Points of Light Award.
As Theresa notes," When you lose your identity, Spirit says that you lose part of your soul. You lose who you are. "
Terri's story hit a nerve much like Annette's as both were extremely familiar to me.
In Terri's case she went from living in one of the nation's wealthiest towns to living on welfare and feeding her children from food pantries. She was living the same life I was except for the fact she was able to secure employment to the tune of having four jobs at once.
When she sold her engagement ring for $80 to feed her family for the week it brought me to tears because I did the exact same and it killed me.
To have to cash in your children's e-bonds to feed them was something I'd never thought I'd have to do either.
It's these stories of survival including Theresa's own story of empowerment through her divorce, as an empty nester, with her daughter's wedding and beyond that truly touched me deeply.
I needed this book like I needed air , water, oxygen to live.
Thankfully my prayers were answered and I still hold hope that one day we will meet again in ACNJ or nearby to get a reading.
Thank you to Theresa Caputo, her publisher Harper One, NetGalley, and Amazon Kindle as this book is well on its way to being another Best Seller.
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