| So-Called Normal is a must read book for everyone and should be made available to all those in the mental health field and beyond. First and foremost I must say, "Thank You" to Mark Henick for this generous 'signed copy' that was sent air mail to me from Harlequin in Canada. Secondly, I must note that I happened upon this book by chance on Twitter and found this author's work to be captivating and I felt compelled and drawn to reach out to Mark in requesting a copy. This book spoke to me from the very first page to the subsequent last and everything in between with precision, clarity, and heartfelt raw human emotion. It's an empath's job to feel emotion and when I saw this memoir pertained to family, depression, and resilience - I knew it was a book that required my undivided attention and above all else had to take precedence. I come from a long line of scapegoats, blackmails, abuse, childhood trauma and married into much the same. As the black sheep I would often find myself alone in my thoughts and emotions and being the only girl in a family of all boys didn't help. As I grew older I learned the technique of compartmentalizing, growing toughened outward skin, and ignoring feelings for acceptance. Therefore, safe to say nothing ever goes as planned nor is life easy. As we see here in the expertly written work -So-Called Normal is riddled with those struggles between childhood fears, trauma, triggers, anxiety, depression, and the latter stages when it encompasses and snowballs into suicidal thoughts, self harm, and worse dreams and nightmares that revolve around death and feelings of inadequacy based upon insecurities. I could relate to this on many levels because as a child I struggled with ADHD and an inability to grasp concepts such as time and or money that for my fellow friends was second nature. I had to learn things in a different light, often backwards or from the bottom up, and learned that fitting in wasn't all it's cracked up to be. As an adult after years of being the black sheep, the scapegoat, and the neglected I became a former shell of myself and sought the very same love, attention, affection that was often discussed in this book. Thankfully, I was able to escape the lonely times in a rural area and head to college while holding down several jobs and living independently from my family. This provided the much needed courage to succeed even though it was short lived upon marrying a malignant narcissist. In this case with Mark Henick he had a rough time with his living arrangements surrounding his mother's relationship after divorcing his dad but also with her new relationship that was forged with Gary. Gary was rough, harsh, and often abusive yet he was the next best thing to an on-sight father figure. Including in this mix was his siblings (Raymond and Krista) respectively. As it turns out Raymond was the middle child who was the 'smart' one with Krista being the 'feisty' one and of course, Mark was the 'sensitive' one. Sadly, Mark grew up being bullied in several schools and also faced dating mishaps along the way all while hiding the fact that he was once molested at just seven years old. My heart literally broke for all that Mark has been through and as I was engulfed in his writing I couldn't help but to think how difficult and trying these times must've been on such a young and impressionable child much less growing into adulthood without that proper footing and foundation of support and guidance we all crave to receive. Without the proper boundaries and enforcement what we find is a boy turning into a man without much guiding force. A young man in and out of the hospitals and psych wards. A man removed from schools for inner turmoils, trials, and tribulations. Several other issues also arose including the mental illness and how his mind worked in mysterious ways as well as his body with tremors and seizures. It's amazing just how the mind and body become interconnected and play off one another during these stressful times of grief, loss, and human components such as those above. Mark Henick's writing literally continues to draw you in with each sentence. He eventually entered therapy at the young age of thirteen, had thoughts of suicide at twelve, and had a whirlwind of emotions that followed including an event that nearly took his life in Sydney. Major depressive disorder is what resulted but it wasn't until his mother suddenly passed at 3am in the bathroom upon entering the bathtub from an apparent seizure that his life became focused with a legacy of memories and flashbacks including his marriage and his children. His mother was a beacon of light and at times it seemed her struggles rested upon his shoulders as she never left this relationship with Gary. She became a grandmother several times over but in the end it was little Noah (his son) asking if his daddy would die. How deeply touching and emotionally compelling it is to read these statements knowing the love he feels for his family as his primary source of enjoyment. Mark notes, "I'd lost a lot of faith after she died-but sometimes habits are hard to kill. I'm not sure how much he remembered of her, either. Still, I reflected on how it's not the things we remember that define us, but the stories we tell ourselves about the things we think we remember." Our lasting legacy is what matters. Not the race to the finish. Nor crossing the finish line. But rather that dash that signifies your work mattered. You mattered. Your story matters. In writing his story he has helped many of those suffering from mental illness and related issues such as depression, suicide, and triggering events to heal. That is a WIN in my book! In closing, I must also note two things to the author - My grandmother's last name was Hanick and my kids all attended a Catholic private school called Holy Redeemer. The significance is uncanny but the fact that I was blessed to read this book was a true calling to higher grounds and I'm eternally grateful for your kindness and generosity as well as your written words. I hope everyone has a chance to read this novel as it's a must read! |
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