Book Review: "All Of This" By Rebecca Woolf

 

There's two sides to every story so let's not forget that important part of this storyline.

First and foremost, I'm sorry for your loss might be a side step but important nevertheless to share.
Secondly, read Roxane Gray's review which pops up first as it sums up with fewer words what I'm about to say and probably more eloquently.

This polarized memoir is quite unique in the fact it goes from death, to inner awareness/self reflection, dating outside the norm, back to death, and ends with a dream about a tell all scrapbook.

In the beginning I was understanding and accepting of everything noted because as the black sheep of a narcisstic family for 49 years, my dad passing on the 10th of this month, and the fact he passed from end stage cancer that probably originated from pancreas, while having spent considerable time discussing hospice care and more with Sloane Kettering and here in PA with our local Veterans hospital led me to a place of all too sadly familiarity.

In fact, much of what you described with the swollen belly in the end, the chemo treatments, and the rest was exactly what my family just experienced and the issue with tissue/organ donation, the cremation, and more. It was almost too close for comfort and made me pause to catch my breath. The fact the eyes couldn't even be donated do to the cancer ravaging havoc brought the pain to the front and center.

However, when the conversation moved to inner awareness, self loathing, self actualization and proceeded to dating women and then sleeping with other men while discussing fake orgasms and the like I lost most of the previous feelings and thought ---why?

Was it necessary or revelant to add this foresight into a book meant to be about the loss of one's spouse and the feelings that precipitated?

Then we evolved to more of a Thelma and Louise -fight till the end-woman united front which again made me question where this book was headed.

Finally, ending on the reality check of a scrapbook dream bringing the memories from the marriage to the forefront only to have them tossed away as but only in a dream scenario left me perplexed as to the author's motives as it fell flat in the end.

It to me seemed more of a confusion on whether to love, like, hate, or completely remove the emotions rather than process those feelings and that marriage in a more healthy way.

I wonder if perhaps therapy, or a life coach might've helped in this case or if the marriage was based upon irreconcilable differences and cut the ties for the loss....

It was definetely an eye opening experience that passed judgement but I'm wondering how others would be open to this type of personal reflection.