Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Book Review: "Mediocre" By Ijeoma Oluo



 “How often have you heard the argument that we have to slowly implement gender and racial equality in order to not “shock” society? Who is the “society” that people are talking about?

I can guarantee that women would be able to handle equal pay or a harassment-free work environment right now, with no ramp-up. I’m certain that people of color would be able to deal with equal political representation and economic opportunity if they were made available today.
So for whose benefit do we need to go so slowly? How can white men be our born leaders and at the same time so fragile that they cannot handle social progress?”

Honesty, transparency, truths, equality, diversity, and acceptance combined with love not hate is just some of what the world needs now!
Ijeoma Oluo has placed every bit of suffering, prejudice, injustice, and ignorance from the white male egotisticals (supremacists) in one central location for all to acknowledge and either accept or deny.

As a white woman in today's world living in extreme poverty after leaving a middle class level -I can note her pain, her emotions, her ideas are not knew but rather they have gone ignored by those who choose to have men take the platform and silence women.

I give her credit for writing this intellectual read because I'd be a little more edgy in my characterisations of this population that has placed a malignant narcissist and his enablers in the highest office of our land.

We cannot continue to deny, uphold, ignore, or excuse away such actions that hurt not only women but their entire families because women often are the sole providers for minor children's upbringing.

"For centuries, violent definitions of white manhood have cost countless lives of women, disabled people, queer and transgender people, people of color-and plenty of cis, straight, abled, white men themselves. Now, as we reach the apex of hypercapitalism that makes it harder and harder for white men to hold out hope that all they've been promised will actually be theirs, we see their desperation lead to terrorism, self-harm, and the catastrophic destruction of our environment."
"How many more mass shootings will we be able to endure? How many more economic recessions? How much more climate crisis? How many more wars? How many more pandemics? How many more people can live in poverty? How many more of us can go without health care? How many more can be locked away in prison? I don't think we can withstand much more."

"Does this sound like too large a task? Too monumental a shift? I can see that. But I can also see how much work it has taken to create and maintain a system of white male mediocrity in this country. I've seen all the creative justifications our society has come up with for the continuation of white male power. I've seen all the effort that our society has put forth in order to keep women and people of color from rising rising to a status that would threaten the comfort of white male mediocrity. And I've seen how many people we are willing to sacrifice toward those efforts. I look at how much has gone into maintaining a definition of toxic white manhood, and I do not think that we lack the strength or endurance needed to create a new, healthier version of white male identity. We just seem to lack the imagination."

"What are women worth? What would it look like to value us and our potential? What is the risk of destroying our careers before they even start?"

"When you can't keep women out anymore, and you can't force them all to become secretaries or teachers because modern social politics demand that you at least pretend to support gender equality in the workplace, what can you do to keep women out of powerful positions in business? You can set them up to fail-or, to be more accurate, you set them up to fall."

Workplaces today are still anti-women. Failing to address sexual harassment, sexism, lack promotional opportunities, fail to mentor and or provide fair wages, fail to build networks or fail to allow leadership roles encompass much of what women experience today.
"In 2019, women made up just 5% of Fortune 500 CEOs. Five percent. And yet women make up a little more than half the overall population."

"The power and ego of entitled white men- who maintain firm control of the vast majority of government offices, manager's offices, corporate boards, and other realms of leadership-remain the biggest obstacles that most women face in their careers."

Lets discuss the notion that women aren't made for work...

Men have designed offices custom catered for them that don't suit women's overall needs, have created work hours conflicting with child rearing, created training and or educational programs in male oriented and or male dominated careers, forming mentoring and valuable networking relationships on golf courses and or club settings in which women are often excluded or unable to attend. Or worse women are not allowed to attend such outings.

Lets also focus on politics shall we...

"In short: People with college degrees are far less likely to vote Republican."

"We condition white men to believe not only that the best they can hope to accomplish in life is a feeling of superiority should be automatically granted them simply because they are white men. The rewarding of white male mediocrity not only limits the drive and imagination of white men; it also requires forced limitations on the success of women and people of color in order to deliver on the promised white male supremacy. White male mediocrity harms us all."

What better way to say this than this is accurate and darn bloody brilliant and I pray everyone reads this fascinating novel.

I've experienced every bit of this behavior and I grew up with three brothers and a hard edge for hard work pays off.

Instead I found the only jobs available for women were the low salaried factory, retail, housekeeping, restaurant and sadly the more demanding, lucrative, better paying wages were actually not only held for but in some case created exclusively for white men often in a 'buddy system' or as I call it 'the big boy network.'

As I've struggled for the past 20 years or more raising three kids solo after divorcing the latter of those 10 years I've found my Masters was a detriment. It meant I'm now in extreme poverty, bankrupt, once homeless, w/o credit, and then on top of it w/o employment. It means you'll be told you're over/under qualified.

I was ostracized in the courts as if I was lazy yet when I worked I held two jobs to put self through college. I was told I'm just a 'stay at home mom' apparently they missed the fact I'm also the 2016 Points of Light Awardee #5666, the recipient of 2016 MFHS Outstanding Community Service Award, and have every accolade from my graduate work including high honors, dean's lists, president's lists, and national honor societies. To further illustrate: I was top producer in CTH/GTH as a material handler and earned a total: $7.25hr with 10 cent raise for my hard work theory. A twenty five dollar (pre-tax) award was initiated for being associate of the month. Meanwhile, the white male hired yesterday earned a dollar more simply taking out light weight garbage while not needing to produce so many units per hour as the rest of us.

I've always been told hard work pays yet every application has been denied to date for the past 10 yrs with only two job offers : a cocktail waitress at a casino which I applied for promo attendant, and another lucrative job that I can't even recall. Neither of which earned a living wage much less able to raise three kids upon.

In fact I was ridiculed for noting I earn more sitting home then working as welfare pays $6 more an hour. https://www.cheatsheet.com/culture/st...
The federal minimum wage has been eroded by decades of inaction: https://www.epi.org/publication/the-f...

I've actually had a job held for a convicted felon (no criminal record here folks), I've had jobs newly created for buddies, I've had jobs state on the job training yet declined for lack of skills, jobs not hiring for Covid yet a white male hired for PaLive tv show at the same time I was declined for economic reasons, I've had jobs declined -therefore scheduled interviews-only to be left sitting in lounge waiting room for hours as a -no show! Or better jobs that have two interview processes such as writing stage and interview only to be let go for a younger hire (recent college grads also an issue for those of us needing family benefits/wages).

Or the ultimate jobs that advertise but then when you apply they claim their not looking, jobs that are hired internally, jobs that claimed my resume was better than the men's but then a hiring freeze initiated by governor, or jobs that advertise-you apply-they say they hired someone else-and repost the position a few days later?!

My head is spinning with the nonsense and yet you'll here the 'pull yourself up by the bootstraps, you just don't want to work, you're lazy.'

Do you know the President of United Way (non profit organization) was contacted via cold call email, we scheduled interview, I left in tears. I was told I came across as entitled for seeking employment (paid) after volunteering for the past 20 years. I suppose I should work to death and do so for free the rest of my life.

I also had a situation in which as the only female usher for nearly two years, the pastor suddenly didn't recognize me, the white older male ushers ganged up and took my collection basket in the middle of Sunday mass, and told me there's more of us than her. The victor than told me the men need time to come around to this new line of thinking.

I then left the church mass in tears. I have three kids in private catholic schools. They attend the very same church daily. My daughter and son both received the Bishop Youth Award. Just eleven biz days after my daughter received her award I get a letter in the mail noting" It's come to my attention you are no longer a parishioner."
REALLY?

This is not the new norm and this mistreatment and injustice has got to stop.
I don't know what kind of a world we'll have in the future, but I'm scared as hell to leave the current one to my girls.

I cannot imagine anyone reading this book and not being moved to tears.

I've seen these same white men during my volunteering hog up the camera but when the spotlight was off they leave. They didn't help feed the poor at CEO in fact they barked orders for the volunteers to work harder, faster, longer.

When I did work for CEO (commission on economic opportunity) I seen members of my community who were upstanding members but of a different race.

When I greeted them I was pulled over and told we don't talk to recipients. I said I'm not only a recipient of the free Thanksgiving day meals but I'm also a 6 yr volunteer. They made it so difficult upon me that I quit that day and never returned.

This is a scary world we live in that lacks empathy, compassion, concern for the well being of others but acts like they do -as if they're holier than though-as if they're better citizens than though...I can only pray that change happens. STAT! As even women's health has become an issue. We are ignored, laughed at, ridiculed and treated unfairly as if we're crazy when seeking help.
I've had 20 years of medical problems in which chronic bronchitis labeled acute, pneumonia for this time frame go unchecked, allergies never discussed, treatment never provided and a recent fatal blood disorder (HUS) not even mentioned to me in personal office visits but rather tucked away in doctors notes online med file.

We cannot continue to ignore the pleas for help, the ignorance of the white men, the vulgar actions in which they're trying to silence us all.

This is not my America!

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