Book Review: "Men Who Hate Women" By Laura Bates

 

First and foremost I want to personally thank the author Laura Bates and the publisher for providing this via Netgalley and Amazon Kindle.

This was the most interesting work I've read in quite some time that really was an eye opener for this single mom x 3 teens (college, high school senior, elementary senior).

While sitting waiting for my son to exit college I pulled this off my TBR pile and read it ahead of all others and for a reason.

I was allured by the title and yearned for more insight into this dark, mysterious, secretive world that seemed to capture the media headlines and illicit some extremely strong actions and language on behalf of its users.

What I found was Laura Bates as Alex going into chat rooms, online sessions, and fighting off trolls to give us the inside scoop.

What a warrior as she discusses the inner workings of these white nationalist, male supremacist, and incels.

I never heard of some of the terminology used in reference to 'Red Pill' but I'm quite well aware of the alarming rise of the Alt right and the far right groups like the Proud Boys.

When I mentioned I was reading this book for review my 20 yr old mentioned to me that it was not hard to find information on these groups. As I proceeded to read about how they literally target the young, like minded, loners in hopes of radicalization I learned that this was just the tip of the iceberg.

Fear mongering, egotistical men, those who feel above the law, and almost god like is what we have here and they feel women should be treated improperly.

Women who come across as powerful feminists, strong voiced, tenacious, and career oriented are viewed as threats.

These sick individuals want to rid women of their basic rights to be treated as humanely as possible.

They feel they deserve to be abused, punished, isolated, and in some cases silenced for life.

Rape is a by-product of such 'new norms' that have created this bubble in which we all become desensitized to this new wave of thinking.

This wave of there are more of us than there are of you -type of thinking.

In fact, when I had a collection basket ripped out of my hand by three 'older' white male ushers in the middle of Sunday mass, I was absolutely speechless and shaking as I walked back to my car.

I never thought I'd say that the Catholic religion that I've spent years involved in as a 'female usher and minister of hospitality' had now stated,"These men need time to come around to this new line of thinking."

As if somehow women wanting to participate in male dominated volunteer positions would warrant such despicable actions.

I was even further dumbfounded by the priest and vicar never offered any remorse or empathy.

It's this new wave of behavior by young and old alike that is frightening and horrific.

I'll also add as a woman having given up her masters to allow her spouse to further his career I never thought I'd be left bankrupt, homeless, and LT unemployed being told I'm overqualified and lack prior work experience.

I went on a cold call and was once left in the wait room for a man who never showed for scheduled interview to discuss why I wasn't hired as I requested helpful advice for my next job opportunity.

I've also experienced a president of the United Way leave me in tears as I went back down the elevator after being told I come across as entitled after volunteering for 20 yrs & wishing to get hired now for a paid position.

This is the type of behavior along with the norm cat calls, yodels, spitting, throwing rocks, refusing to give women space while driving or right of way, eye balling us via the rear mirrors, and more that I have come to despise.

This treatment extends even to the courts. I was getting divorced and told I deserved my abuse. I had the door slam in my face by my malignant narcs council. I had the master judge request I sit next to my abuser and my abuser was given extra time to appear for court ordered appearance.

I was also told to repay my abuser 5 k when he was awarded 21k for paying his own household bills while we resided in the home with a PFA (Protection from Abuse) all while he filed an illegal action to have us (his family) removed from the premise via Special Relief being filed.

I've seen it all when it comes to men feeling superior and wanting to use hatred to strike down women both literally and figuratively.

The #MeToo movement was a huge game changer for women -allowing us a voice for once.

Sadly, men feel this voice comes with a price that they must behave or else be subject to penalties.

Truth be told while I'm sure their may be some women who abuse this movement for the overall majority it's much needed as for years women have been silenced.

When the author mentioned men feeling the deck stacked against them in court -I beg to differ.

I wasn't given any special treatment and in fact it was quite the opposite.

The preferential treatment was given to my abuser as they used the buddy system aka the big boy network to cover for one another.

The manosphere is this idealogy that can infect anyone before you notice it taking over.

Exploitation and grooming by extremist is on the rise and can be found virtually anywhere online.

I pray we get a President that no longer supports such far right extremes and we begin to heal from our wounds as the divisiveness is excruciating and living in constant state of fight of flight is exhausting.

When I exited my marriage I prayed that was the end but sadly it began with another malignant narcissist in the highest office of the land and I for one cannot take another 4 years of this torture.

Women have a right to voice their opinions. We are not meat markets. We are well educated and career minded. We will not be silenced any more!

Brains and Brawn -Carry on!