Not showing your true authenticity could be unsettling considering the fact that you are not staying true to you.
So often we find ourselves overcome with anxiety, fears, trauma, abuse, and the like that we forget to deal with and process these emotions and that can wreak havoc upon us.
How many times has someone come up to you and said how's it going only to say 'I'm good' but did you really mean it or were you on the verge of disaster inside?
Depression is a 'dirty word' in 'mental illness' that creates a stigma that one is broken, damaged, unable to cope in life as a 'normal' person and therefore must be cast away, set aside, dealt with at another date and time.
It's not something easily discussed nor it's readily accepted by society so in order to go about one's day to day activities and if one is a perfectionist it becomes stuffed down till it manifests reaching a boiling point.
It's not till this revelation of reaching the top of the iceberg that one seeks help and that others begin to even notice there was ever a problem to begin with.
For the 5 c's of healing the author suggests getting back to reality checks and balances. A form of self acceptance, a level of awareness, a degree of authenticity and most importantly a new norm of self forgiveness and self love.
Her 5 c's of healing include consciousness, commitment, confront, connect, and change.
What I enjoyed about this book is that for myself it was something I could comprehend as I was and in many ways still am a perfectionist.
I've dealt with narcissism and NPD most if not all of my life from being raised in a family of them to eventually marrying and finally divorcing one after raising three kids (who I believe 2 of them have the NPD disorder).
It's a personality trait disorder much like bipolar that was discussed in length in this novel.
Often one may find that these disorders go hand in hand so when checking up with a therapist make sure they address that fact.
As for all else what I've noticed over the years is the lack of compassion, empathy, acceptance, and love from those closest to me and society in general.
Labels are often attached to a person and often times we live in an immediate diagnosis society in which people claim to be knowledgeable and cast blame and shame upon others for their own self control and self empowerment and have no need nor wish to assist others who are suffering.
The idea that victim blaming and shaming continues without the basis of mental illness being addressed is mind blowing to me.
I grew up with the need of helping others and have been awarded the highest award for community service by our nation (Points of Light -Pres. George H.W. Bush in 2016).
I'm dumbfounded to see how many are suffering and how much people scoff, mock, and downplay their pain.
Just the other day my local news posted on FB about people being afraid of doorbells and was entitled, "Do Doorbells Give you Anxiety": https://www.facebook.com/eyewitnessnewstv/photos/a.207050702642833/2712646958749849/?type=3&comment_id=2712848618729683¬if_id=1559847521816980¬if_t=feedback_reaction_generic
You can't imagine the commentary but I assure you it was not supportive in anyway. Much of the commentary centered upon the dummying down of society and the babying of the world with kid gloves.
As if this was a masculine or feminine task and as if it had nothing to do with abuse, trauma, ptsd, or other forms of the DSM manual of personality trait disorders.
I'm at a loss for how our world arrived at this point - a point in which nothing else matters anymore.
What I will suggest is in setting up boundaries, finding good support system, and letting things go that are beyond one's control.
Don't sweat the small stuff as they say and try to focus on oneself as it's not selfish but necessary for a healthy living.
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