Thursday, June 13, 2019

Book Review: "We Got This" By Marika Lindholm


When will we as a nation recognize unpaid labor especially with regards to child support in family courts?

While you think about this notion that women do much more work and do so 24-7 not just 9-5 without ever a break you'll understand the rest of what I have to note.

One message united forever~ You are not Alone~!

This is the powerful story of 75 single moms and their struggles and triumphs to simply raise their children solo.


As a single mom of 3 teens since birth (as my spouse lived and worked 5 states away with only every other weekend visits) till 2010 when we separated and then in 2013 when we divorced; I know this pain but I also know this beauty.


You see I was left bankrupt, homeless, LT unemployed, as I'd agreed to stay home becoming a homemaker rather than chase a career with earning potential.


Fast forward 18 yrs later my son has just graduated high school, he's off to college in the fall, I have two more girls to raise solo, both girls in private school (an agreement I made with my former spouse) but for which he decided not to provide financial assistance after signing the contract.


I'm still below poverty, still chasing the American Dream, still hoping for a career and entrance into the workforce as I refuse to dummy down my resume to please the masses.
I've been volunteering while seeking FT living wages all those years ironically achieving the highest award by our Nation the Points of Light Award given by the 41st president yet it means nothing.


When I walk into the court room for increased support after not receiving an increase in 7 yrs I'm asked what I've done since our last visit in 2011 as if I sit at home eating bon bons. 


It pisses me off quite frankly because I nearly died to have all 3 children alone. I required 2pint blood transfusion after emergency c section to simply stand and visit my son who

was lifeflighted to the hospital.

We've had every unlucky break one could have from losing his disability to repaying the disability non of which was our fault. Upon turning 18 SSI/SSP decided he was no longer disabled yet he was born with Vater Syndrome and will have it his entire life.


We were then excluded from receiving additional college aid because the state no longer pays out support till college age.


We then had his support reduced because he turned 18 so it was just all dead weight upon me.


I was sinking yet I refused to give up.


I now am in extreme poverty hoping to survive daily.
So I understand the idea that it's not easy but it sure is a hell of a ride to know that nobody can take the credit for all that you alone have completed.


Being a parent is not a one and done. It's not a matter of convenience. It's not when you would like to show or like to participate. It's a constant sacrifice.


If you're not in it to do what needs to be done and be there 24-7 you need to step aside and find someone who does.
It's not about money it's about love, guidance, nurturing, empathy, compassion, and love.


It's about family.
It's about your legacy.
You must choose .....

1 comment:

  1. Three months after my 4 and 2 year old left my ex husband with the clothes on our backs and a 1985 Crown Victoria i bought in secret i was diagnosed with stage 3 cervical cancer. It was a tough year but we made it through. These stories hit close to home for me. My kids are all grown up and we had the time of our lives just us three.

    ReplyDelete