Sunday, June 30, 2019

Book Review: "Women and Money" By Suze Orman

One of the best in the business!


There is not a day that goes by that I don't find a need to improve upon my finances especially after being left bankrupt and homeless from a divorce nearly 6 yrs ago.


The problem I do have is that many expect women to be in control of their own finances but if you're in my situation in extreme poverty and dealing with a malignant narcissist in court every few years it's hard to prepare for a future when you're in constant fight or flight mode. In addition the importance of establishing credit cannot be overstated. You cannot get a rental, purchase a car, get a loan without it.


So let me explain as I'd love for Suze to address the how to ways in solving this issue in particular: Just like when I was married I was provided an allowance. Now it's in the form of 'child support' that is deemed proper by the family courts to raise my 3 teens. That number changes depending on whether or not I file an appeal for an increase or my ex spouse files for a decrease claiming financial hardships as is the current issue.


I'm supposed to get payments every two weeks in a set amount (bi weekly) but I'm often lucky to get payments on time especially if it occurs on or near a holiday or a Friday. 
In addition being below poverty keeps you 'locked in' to poverty as for every dollar obtained 10 in taken away from somewhere else. For example when I lost my son's SSI for disability (even though he's born disabled and will be for life with Vater Syndrome) I was then increased for EBT based on lower income. It also works the other way around when child support pays out 3 payments in one month rather than two than my EBT would decrease.
In other ways damned if you do and damned if you don't. If my teens go to work that lil they would earn being it's $7.25 min wage here in NEPA w0uld go against what I receive in aid from the government therefore you can't improve upon yourself unless you're able to secure at least a living wage.


I would know as I have a Masters before having had three kids and raising them the past 18 yrs. I now have the lost time in earning potential and employers won't hire me. I've tried since 2010 to today with rejections galore. I also filled in the gap with over 20 yrs volunteering and yes even with the Points Of Light Award for the nations greatest community service volunteers it means nothing against getting an actual paid job.
The courts don't recognize my unpaid labor as work nor have I ever received compensation for those lost earnings.


So now what is my question to you Suze?


In addition I'd like to now address your book as I loved it aside from this issue I personally have above.


"How we relate to money is a reflection of what we feel about ourselves."
As an abuse survivor who dealt with 'financial abuse' from a malignant narcissistic spouse for over 11 yrs I can tell you this is the most accurate statement you could've provided to your readers.


Women feel powerless to control money based on external factors especially those women like self who lacked love and support or even guidance in their earlier child rearing days.
Self worth determines one's net worth!


So follow these 8 Essential Qualities:
Harmony, Happiness, Balance, Wisdom, Courage, Cleanliness, Generosity, and Beauty.
I would add know your worth and your value.


If you must use your spouse's income to establish credit do so to save yourself if stuck in loveless and abusive marriage.


Know what comes in and goes out in terms of paperwork including unpaid utility bills and or taxes.


My malignant narc paid taxes using Turbo Tax online w/o my signature required so it was rather easy to not know our financial situation.


I'm a very well educated woman but you must note these men are vultures who pray on unsuspecting women.


They will try to get you to use your credit to purchase them items with promises of repayment that never arrives.


Mine was constantly requesting new furniture, new appliances, new washers/dryers yet I had no job nor income but fab credit.


Watch also for his snail mail being sent to other p.0. addresses to keep you less informed and or using private bank accounts set up as business accounts in which he'll transfer funds w/o knowledge and plead poverty.


I laugh now when I realize while I live in extreme poverty being told to vacate our property or be taken out with a constable and having our utilities turned off without one dime in child support for over a year accruing to 15k he was pleading poverty having never filed for bankruptcy or governmental aid as his own wife and kids had to do.


Watch for toxic men ladies who will promise you the world, love bomb, and then discard and devalue it's the classic sign of a whir wind romance.


I'm actually quite shocked this wasn't mentioned but perhaps in a follow up edition.


I also would like to thank whoever sent me this signed copy edition of this book.


I will forever cherish!


Thank you!

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