Book Review: "A Million Reasons Why" By Jessica Strawser

Jessica Strawser has truly went beyond the realm of possibilities with a new look into DNA and what makes family-FAMILY!

Is blood the only common denominator in seeking connections to one's family?

In this new work-A Million Reasons Why -AKA-Too Much Too Ask- we focus in on asking for what we want and so desperately need to merely survive.

Can you imagine not only learning you have a sibling but that that sibling is in dire need of a kidney?

Could this new found connection that resulted from a simple DNA mail in test be her ticket to a new life or sadly a mirage disguised as blessing?

Caroline and Sela are two individuals with totally different mindsets, character flaws, and perspectives in life.

Caroline stems from a life of perfection, happiness, and charisma. She's raised three kids with her loving husband and has a booming career.

Meanwhile, Sela has lived the life of hard knocks. Riddled with hardships and illness that's resulted in the failed marriage and her newfound role of being a single parent to her two year old son.

What's most striking is the dynamics at play here between such elusive lifestyles and the train of thought that's so moving and powerful.

As a mother myself of complicated pregnancies (x3) I've learned that you literally must take every day at a time and be grateful for each new chance at life.

Much like these characters I spent 2 months in the NICU holding my preemie son's hand not knowing if he'd live or die. It's not only frightening but it peels away that toughness exposing a human's most raw and vulnerable moments. Witnessing a young baby pass away next to my own son who struggled for life is something I cannot erase from memory.

Knowing some families may never walk out and leave the hospital is such a disheartening feeling. When I nearly lost my life with a placenta abruption I had zero support. My boyfriend at the time never showed at the hospital (malignant narcissist) and in fact told me to,"pull the plug" if I couldn't handle it alone. Those words have not left my mind in the past 20 years. He hid behind HEPA laws to prevent from making himself present even though he was added to the guest list and authorized for visits. Since having kids out of wedlock was scoffed at in the Catholic realm we later married and had two more children together in the course of the next 11 years together.

How anyone can be so cruel and selfish is something I've struggled to come to terms with and unfortunately I cannot offer any intellectual answers other than his own personality trait disorders to my kids.

At one point in this book the question came up about knowing who your siblings are especially with regard to half siblings.

As a woman who married an abusive man who had this malignant narcissistic trait I can tell you that he was asked this very question while outside the family courtroom doors at the Domestic Relations office. His answer -was in his SILENCE!

While I understand having affairs while married is not the norm -you cannot take the actions back- and you simply have to try to move forward in light of everyone involved. In hiding truths the problem(s) become magnified and the results could be costly and deadly especially when medical concerns take precedence.

I cannot condone my ex-husband's actions but somewhere out there I've learned my kids have at least two other 1/2 siblings (both boys) who they may never know fully due to one man's inadequacies and childish ways.

Please think of those whose lives you've altered because of staying silent and not addressing such complexities.

This book as you can tell has touched an active and raw nerve in me because I divorced the man I loved for the past 13 years and was left bankrupt, homeless, and long term unemployed now in extreme poverty while struggling to get hired as a homemaker with a masters but without working experience in raising my three kids solo for the past twenty years.

The kids that are my children's half siblings are out there and I pray my children never marry them unknowingly or form a romantic relationship with them not knowing their history with a man who committed adultery and infidelity and then refused to take ownership of his actions; as legal adoption papers speak volumes in his absence.
Silence is never the answer.

I'm so happy to see the ending in this centered upon connection, communication, and the reasons why for closure if for nothing else.

The back story to Sela was so tragic yet it shows how fragile human relationships are and how they need to be nurtured and loved unconditionally.

Jessica has truly made me reflect on topics I've not addressed for some time and have not been asked but in reaching out to the mothers of the women my former spouse had relationships with I've learned that history most certainly repeats and will never change unless the toxic individual seeks change. For that all we can do is hope and pray the light comes through rather than the darkness otherwise you're left with a trail of destruction, empty promises, and broken dreams in the wake of it all.

Thank you to Jessica, the publisher, NetGalley, and Amazon Kindle for this ARC in exchange for this honest review.