Book Review: "Surrounded By Psychopaths" By Thomas Erikson

As a victim, survivor, and warrior of a relationship with a malignant narcissist/psychopath I can emphatically tell you this is the best book I've read on this toxicity and personality trait based on the DSM Manual.

I'm not only someone who took the bitterness and made it productive into something better but I now council others and will be recommending this book to my own readers and followers on my FB page, "The Lost Self Life After Narcissism."

As you know, Psychopaths are real charmers much like narcissists so when I use one term or the other don't get too discouraged because throughout my 13 year relationship I saw both sides of this dynamic.

First I must note, that eventually we will come to a place where whether as a victim, a survivor, an enabler or friend that the actions will speak louder than words and excuses will no longer be able to be used to hide behind the 'mask.'

As Thomas Erikson has shown so intellectually -these psychopaths- are real charmers. They appear likeable, believable, credible, and sociable.

They can be anyone but they do exhibit specific warning signs while selecting and targeting specific individuals that they know can be easily manipulated and gaslighted into submission for personal and or professional gain.

The psychopaths are not able to be empathetic, loving, nurturing, or kind. They operate from a false sense of self and therefore they are only interested in themselves.

This book truly showed the various techniques, motives, warning signs, and categories in which one might fall and for which one might find themselves unable to escape the wrath and rage.

It's so crucial to note that you can get out and leave but it's a decision that is solely individually based per relationship.

You cannot change someone who blame/shames/tries to destroy others while feeling they are grandiose and superior to others around them. 

It's dangerous to think that by simply giving in to get along that this too shall pass or that you can simply provide more love, attention, or affection as you're dealing with an empty bottomless black hole of nothingness that is self absorbed and entitled and has no consideration for those they leave behind.

The power to walk away is the greatest god given power one possesses. To not just walk but to end communication. To protect oneself you must make yourself a priority. 

This is often difficult coming out of such a toxic relationship in which the psychopaths needs came first and you became consumed by this sponge that was a taker but never a giver.

In healthy relationships you are to be supportive, loving, kind, and offer guidance and helpful suggestions. In unhealthy relationships you are abused, targeted, silenced, and manipulated so that you lose self esteem, confidence becomes eroded, and strengths are diminished.

In the end, it comes down to one thing," How much do you value yourself?"
As Thomas Erikson notes,"Only you can answer that."

For more information on this topic please check out my full profile at Goodreads or visit my own self help page, The Lost Self Life After Narcissism.

Thank you to Thomas, the publisher, NetGalley, and Amazon Kindle for this ARC in exchange for this honest review.