Tuesday, July 21, 2020

Book Review: "Silenced and Sidelined" By Carrie Lynn Arnold

"In the age of multiple equity movements, it is critical to explore an unspoken nuance--the silencing of women leaders. Carrie Lynn Arnold calls attention to the history and complex dynamics that can suppress a leader's voice while offering solutions for change."

Subsequently the author then moves forward with this,"Women are taught to speak up, develop confidence, leverage their strengths, polish their interpersonal skills, widen their competencies, and fight to sit at the table. But once they make it to that executive chair, they rarely examine the unspoken dynamics that impact their success. The silencing of female voices is an all too common epidemic, preventing women from harnessing their full capabilities and leading with maximum potential."

I would offer another idea...many of us -the strong feminists-aren't able to even be employable after raising families to even have the chance to come to this table for discussion because our hopes and dreams of inclusion are dashed right from the start.

Allow me a moment or two to digress: I have a dual masters with all accolades and high honors  including Points of Light from our 41st President -George H.W. Bush. https://www.pointsoflight.org/awards/donna-m-gatcha-hines/
I've volunteered for the past 20 years to stay current knowing men made more than women so it's with complete agreement that I gave up career for child rearing while placing my endeavors on hold.

Upon divorcing in 2013-I was left with the shirt on my back, three kids from this 11 year union, bankruptcy, homelessness, zero credit, no assets nor savings, and family courts that allowed a malignant narcissist to continue to manipulate the system in not providing child support for over a year while we lived off credit and ate at food banks in extreme poverty awaiting government assistance that had two year wait lists.

My story concerning food insecurities was told to every member of Congress via Rosa DeLauro (D-CT) in what's known as Community Voices -Poverty To Prosperity Program-Center for American Progress via Erik Stegman-Director of Field Outreach and Advocacy. 
https://www.goodreads.com/photo/user/47259487-donna-hines?page=1&photo=3924537 

Now, even with MPA (Public Administration/Criminal Justice) & graduate with high honors, as member of Alpha Phi Sigma National Criminal Justice Honor Society and Sigma Delta Kappa I can't get employed.

The reason being I'm truthfully and brutally honest. When asked why can't a woman in her late 40's with three kids find a way to earn a living I happily provide my life of hard knocks reality.

I was told that my resume was hands down better than several of those who worked at the Attorney General's Office which was set to hire me until the governor put a hiring freeze.

I then was almost hired during the past ten years of job hunting but was let go for corona and economic uncertainty reasons.

I was also passed over because of age requirements as many local employers are hiring only recent college graduates.

I'm told the openings are highly competitive and even though I've passed all the multiple interview phases for testing (such as two written tests and interview stage) for a content editor position-the job still was given to a recent college grad.

The volunteering I was told coupled with networking would be my ticket so I attended every job fair, networked relentlessly, increased online presence, updated resume at undergrad college, and sent cold call emails introducing myself to even LinkedIn members currently employed.

Yet, all to no avail. My emails went unanswered. The hits on my social sites placed me in the 'All Star' ranking with over 5k followers yet nothing but ads and spam came my way.

The other issue- paid v unpaid bloggers and reviewers.
In this novel the author addresses the need for sponsorships, support, and opportunities to innovate.

Yet, that's acquired by having money and or credit available, connections and or networking, power and or status, and popularity and or likeability.
If you don't have all the dots circled above you have nothing.

For example:  A fellow male reviewer is a paid Amazon Influencer and editor. I'm a Long Term Unemployed Reviewer/Blogger trying to get noticed and working hard for such notoriety with over 800k views of my work.

I assumed by creating top notch material, working hard, and being online with easy access it would lead to possible opportunities.

Instead I was told that he built himself up and worked hard. Which to those who've put in the time and effort are left scratching their heads thinking is this what our world has come too?

Women's work I've noticed is ignored. Complaints are labeled. Our placement in life is also boxed into 'stay at home mom' or other categories.

I have the same degree as my spouse (who has a job with a criminal record) yet I was told I'm just a stay home mom who -by the way- can't get hired.
I have a violated pfa order for protection yet told I deserved the abuse by my ex spouse's council outside of court.

I was told while volunteering to limit myself and not branch out to multiple areas of interest and dummy down my resume. You have got to be kidding? Right?

When I explained that the reason for lack of hire is do to nepotism, corruption, myths and misconceptions associated with poverty and food insecurities I was told I'm coming across as entitled because I spent 20 yrs volunteering and now seek paid employment.

Yes, this was told to me by the head of the local United Way after a cold call email and interview.

Needless to say I've had jobs held for convicted white male felons with families but not for this white female mid aged woman with three kids to support in extreme poverty since job hunt began in 2010 during separation with no criminal record.

Now, with this idea of followers -many publishers and companies- based everything on this magic number.

Yet, they don't take into account that followers can be bots, trolls, or other means. I had a white male follow me that I knew was a bot and when I went to block I couldn't because his account didn't exist...yet we base everything on the number of followers in order to provide ARC's to reviewers/bloggers or to get a trip to be interviewed at Goodreads. 

I know this because I'm currently the top 32 USA Reviewer of All Time here at Goodreads yet I'm not the most popular nor most followed so I've not yet been contacted by anyone from this site for anything other than a few authors sending invites to connect or to freely review their next book baby.

It's so disheartening to work so hard and not even receive so much as a thank you yet you're bombarded by the comment -Why aren't you working? 
I agree with the gentleman who told you to write this book as I myself could've done the same but didn't receive the same support.

Support is so vital especially to those of us who've been at the bottom as feeders to promote others work but haven't been given the same applause. 
My voice has been silenced over injustices for many years but that doesn't mean it isn't seen or heard by those who matter. Helping others to heal and doing so for free has brought me more joy and gratitude than any paid position and for that I'm grateful and blessed.

Working for free for over 20 years wasn't about the accolades, the highest award our nation offers, nor the attention as I received nothing in exchange.
It was however to know that there's something greater out there, something bigger and better, and we should all give back to help our fellow brother or sister. 

We so far have managed to limit and not extend that hand to everyone and I pray this unity is uncovered in my lifetime and that of my children's.

I would end with this powerful motivator: I'm also a former minister of hospitality. I say former because during my two years of volunteer service at St. Ignatius of Loyola in Kingston Pa I had the collection basket ripped from my hands by some white older male ushers whom I'm told needed time to come around to this line of thinking in allowing women a place in a Catholic Church...No apology was ever offered by these male ushers. Yet, there was one lone white male in the pew that did apologize and was sickened by what he witnessed that day in the back of the church, in the middle aisle, on my way up to the alter -clearly visible for the entire world to see-yet nobody said one word but him. Thank you to that man who did not silence me.

 -Signed DV Survivor -Malignant Narcissist Survivor -Never Stay Silent!
Carry on!

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