Book Review: "Life With Ollie" By Donna G. Bourgeois

Narcissism is a personality trait disorder and is not behavioral with lasting consequences upon the subjects it effects.

Sadly, kids are in the cross hairs of a parent with such disorder making the burden upon these scapegoats and the 'golden child' more problematic.

It's a distinct grooming, a molding, a manipulation that's often so coy that many don't notice occurring behind closed doors.

An abuse so well hidden that many don't believe the targets of the abuse until long after the mask falls and the perp is exposed.

Many individuals w/o experience in these DSM manual traits think it's just a selfish, egotistical, moody individual and fail to recognize the smoke, fog, mirrors, and brainwashing that's occurring daily.

The abuse of all forms is horrendous including but not limited to physical, psychological, financial, verbal, emotional, religious, sexual, and so much more.

It's a matter of power and control much like what's witnessed with domestic violence and these 'warriors' become a former part of themselves lost in confusion and thought.
It's a 'fight or flight' experience within a daily 'walking on eggshells' always waiting for the worst to come and always looking over the shoulder.

The perp is often utilizing a former sense of self while seeking attention, adulation, and constant praise.

Staying loyal while living in fear under the umbrella of threats of retaliation and isolation is the norm.

Those who speak out may experience many debilitating health issues: headaches, nausea, teeth grinding ie. lock jaw, tremors, shakes, constant stress, paranoia, depression, anxiety, mood swings, etc.

It's the story of the bottomless black pit of nothing that requires a constant source of supply to the point of exhaustion.

Those who succumb will find themselves a shell of their former selves being alone, fearful, afraid of the unknown 'iceberg' references.

The only way to survive is to escape in safety using supportive measures under the guidance of legal authority.

Admitting there's a problem is the first step. Securing and enforcing boundaries and no contact is crucial.

The hoovering, the smear campaigns, the mirroring and projection is all soon to follow this destructive trail.

The past is only a precursor of what one may experience so always trust your gut and know your worth.

I pray for anyone who finds themselves in this type of 'hell' like the author and myself.
Especially when the toxicity stems from the family and upgrades to the spouses and or children.

The family in these cases are often seen in light of being secondary as the narc is always the primary focus.

Shifting the priorities to put oneself first is not only not selfish it's vital.
May god bless the thrivers, warriors, survivors.

As a scapegoat from a narc family who married/divorced the same --I pray you find peace, comfort, and are able to remove and rebuild!