I can only hope and pray this undaunted feeling transports itself to the millions in the world that are unemployed, homeless, long term unemployed, bankrupt, divorced and single parents raising families alone, the impoverished, the working poor, those facing food insecurities, those facing injustices from the criminal justice system, those praying for support in the various forms that may take.
Look, applying oneself and finding your passion is beautiful, inspirational, and inspiring but it's also not reality for many Americans today especially with the pandemic.
As a single mom left bankrupt, homeless, long term unemployed without income, assets, savings, or credit for over a year and a half while seeking various forms of sustainability in the form of governmental aid while having a son med disabled from birth to present, while fighting medical issues a phone book in width is much different than this powerful and moving story by Kara Goldin.
I do believe location is imperative to success and sometimes those connections and opportunities aren't made available in areas filled with empty storefronts, dilapidated buildings, and depressed former coal/industrial towns.
While it's easy to say pick up and move as you're not firmly rooted in place it's also easy to say, "Just leave when facing abuse from a spouse" as the personal interests is absent and the financial, medical, and other components is gone from the overall equation.
What do you say to a woman unable to secure employment after begging for ten years? Or better, what do you say to a woman who has applied herself in every facet of life in her mid 40's only to find herself spinning wheels.
In fact, when I read this novel I was shocked by just some of the ease at which you discussed certain areas of your life that was devastating to someone of lesser stature.
For example: Kara Goldin mentioned picking up a phone and calling her doctor. Can you imagine that when you have medicaid/medicare? When I call to speak to my doctor I'm put on hold and if lucky I might be able to get an appointment by year's end with the monopoly of a hospital we have in Northeastern Pennsylvania. I had three day urgent to be seen and still couldn't get seen for months.
Can you imagine being able to discuss thirty years worth of misdiagnosed medical problems, after sought treatment. Yet, because I'm a mother, in poverty, with state aid, I'm not taken seriously as a woman with medical concerns? I was actually mocked at one point for speaking fast to get my concerns all in on time having only 10 minutes to meet with the doctor.
Another set example: Kara mention's having an open pregnancy incision & medical complications.
I had a placenta abruption, my son life flighted (2 months NICU), I was severely anemic with microcytic hypochromic anemia and my low iron required two pints of blood.
I was told my son was fine, having passed his Apgar's, at our local hospital but he had vater syndrome & was sent to a more skilled children's hospital with this rare genetic mutation. I've had three high risk pregnancies to date- emergency section with my son, two more c-section's thereafter; having my 2nd child born with jaundice, and a third born with SUA (single umbilical artery).
The point of this is different from the author's : I had no medical coverage when I had my second child and owed over 30k out of pocket, demanded on site, as I was wheeled into the ER. I was then harassed for payment via collection agencies to the point I had to switch my number and avoid calls while providing 1k a month in payments on the only credit card I had available. Yet, the monopoly wasn't happy with taking my last few dollars I could offer so I paid them $100 per month for the last 13 years till it was paid in full.
As if this wasn't enough I would add my third birth left me with a gaping wound at the corner of the incision of the c-section and I had to use butterfly band-aids with my mother's help (former RN-OBGYN) to heal the open wound to prevent infection.
I don't want this story to be the wo-wis-me- pity party or self indulgence but we cannot lose sight of the point. We are not all made alike, we all carry different issues, and yes, we cannot all simply be positive and life falls into place with the right location, support, funds, talent, networks, connections, or opportunities.
Kara mentions another issue: Job hunting! Be fearless! Be courageous! Be Bold!
Yes, I agree, ergo, why I cold called the United Way President of my local chapter hoping for employment after emailing him my story of being left w/o income, employment, aid, etc and having to raise a family of four w/o basics after divorcing a spouse who refused child support for over a year having left us with 15k arrears. Imagine, a judge awarded my ex spouse 21k for back payments on his own home/mortgage, we were booted to the curb, and had to repay 5k arrears to our own abuser while homeless, w/o employment, w/o aid while awaiting government aid. Yes, all while job hunting for past ten years with a dual masters and all the accolades including 20 years of volunteering even for jobs paying less than I currently receive on aid.
Now, I appreciate your story of success and I do consider myself undaunted having put myself out there to seek employment. However, it's exhausting. It's humiliating. It's so sad that we have so many educated and highly professional people who can't break free.
Would you believe it: The United Way President mentioned I came across as entitled simply because I asked for a job after spending all those years volunteering? As if I should continue working for free and never expect or deserve payment for said work.
I left in tears on the elevator and went home once again deflated.
Men rule the world and unfortunately, I live in an area entrenched in these alpha males.
Religion and faith is another avenue for concern: I'm very open and honest having had the collection basket ripped out of my hands simply for serving my Lord in the middle of Sunday Mass and then telling the priest to save my bread for the other woman who would hopefully one day be welcomed into the church in my position as a minister of hospitality as the only female usher. I was forced out of the church I love and told it was brought to their attention I no longer was a parishioner by letter. This with perfect service for two years and zero complaints.
Of course, it was reinstated when I let them know they can't decline a parishioner attendance or strip them of such right simply because they're impoverished with health issues that hamper their attendance especially in a pandemic as a High Risk individual.
You see my friends life isn't all rainbows and roses and in fact it's deadly, brutal, and heartless.
People want to hide the ugly and bring out only the pretty.
I wish we could face the cold hard truths and someday after raising my three kids in extreme poverty I intend to do just that and expose the realities we face.
It's a stark contrast to what I read from individuals residing in lush locations with beautiful and ample opportunities and not the dark and disturbing means of having dirty, grime, corruption, and greed as a focal point to endure daily.
That quest for money and power has left me unnerved and my once happy spot in volunteering was robbed from me.
I no longer was welcomed to this church because I simply told the truth and asked the Vicar to get involved and he said, "The men need time to simply come around to this new line of thinking."
So, my friends the truth is that walking into a place demanding a job is nice but in reality I received different. In fact, another example to throw out there was in going to the Chamber of Commerce and requesting an interview after being declined a job. I waited for almost an hour alone in a waiting room with nobody even asking why I was there. Eventually, the contractor fixing a door asked if I needed help. I explained I was scheduled for an interview but nobody showed up. I was lucky in that the President of the company had just concluded a meeting and was walking out. I took the opportunity to introduce myself and was told the job garnished many applicants and to reapply if anything comes back up.
Needless, to say we all have our stories but in this case your situation became blessed and I do hope we all have that same golden opportunity but if not remember that the smaller labels like being a parent, raising a family, producing a safety zone for our children, and helping others is equally important even when you have nothing but time to give.
Undaunted for me was an eye opening experience in understanding just how different lives can be and how some are successful while others aren't through no fault of their own. Logistics, locations, opportunities, networks, connections, funding, etc. aren't all the same across the board.
Be grateful that the smaller things like procuring children and raising them to adulthood is the best you can do.
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