| A parent's job is never a 9-5 Monday-Friday job. As they age the problems become magnified so grab that glass of wine or two and stop to smell the roses as the 529k has to come in handy sooner or later. Look, I get it - I'm a single mom of three, I'm at my prime (47 yo unable to re-enter workforce having tossed my career and that golden Masters for homemaker title), I'm also a mom without greys -shout out to my local hairdresser. As a Mama Bear and Papa Bear I can relate to everything in this except for the line about the tooth-fairy. My word, for $200 I would've pulled my own teeth and gave 'em to you. No, seriously, we do what we must to keep the balls juggling and yes, it takes a damn village and their idiots to save us all. What I love about Karen is the fact that she's a no-nonsense, tell it like it is, take no prisoners kind of person. I respect that and you should too. Here's why... Parenting doesn't come with a set plan. Shiite we make it up as we go and hope to God we find the end of the tunnel and they find their way to freedom, independence, and self reliance. Sure as the sun rises the storms will pass but make no doubt you must enjoy them along the way. Now, let's get back to that helicopter parenting. You know the ones. Their at every game. Hoping their kids make the Olympics. Geez! Cut us a break shall we. Let them enjoy it. In fact if they quit, so what. They may just fall into what they're meant to do. For example, my daughter had the a-hat of the world for a b-ball coach. She ended up switching up mid-stream (actually the jack wipe gave her two days to learn all plays before bumping her to varsity). She ended up leaving the sport she spent a lifetime learning and played volleyball. Safer for mom and less anxiety to boot. By the end of senior year she received All State on First Team status for the State of Pennsylvania. The moral of the story never give up but give them the confidence to know it's up to them to get 'er done. Karen Alpert writes with such experience, wisdom, and charm that you can't help falling in love with her sense of style, humor, and dare I say -FASHION! So, much fashion under one roof with plenty of Michelangelo's in play that I don't know how she does it all. The fact this book talks not only of the trials and tribulations of raising kids but also in perfecting that parenting style was a cute change of scenery for me. I'm sorry but I darn near pissed my pants with the Elf on the Shelf -which ended up melted- in the oven... Is that the same xmas carol I hear in the backdrop...you know the one- Yes, that one that you smile at the concert after hearing it for the umpteenth time (luckily if you have more than one child from same school it will be the eternity song for all ages). We all love concerts, special events, get togethers but seriously reserving the first twenty rows for the relatives that never show using that famous coat over the seat technique is getting a bit old. However, when the bright lights shine on our kids, the bleachers become a hazard on stage, and the old man filming causing you to have eye strain from the brightness of his shiny head ...ahhh! you hold on tight and laugh because it's all you can do to save yourself. Single Parents REJOICE- This is your sign! The one in which you spent 18 years raising the kids and when the graduation comes the other 1/2 finally shows up with a backpack, a new coat, or new shoes and squares even in his mind for the years of absence. Well, I digress because it's his loss. However, I'm the B-Parent in all this mess. I'm the gal who won't chase your coach down or scream and holler but I am loud and do clap. Now, I 'm no A-hole -F-wad-D-bag sideline parent but I can't be as my kids attend Catholic schools.. Ha! So, Karen I passed that test! I will note that I had my daughters teammate quit in senior year and I couldn't understand why she didn't just toughen it out being it's the last year. But, never did understand the reasoning. Safe to say I wanted to say many things but I kept it to myself which is hard as a Taurus - we don't stay quiet or somber. We're always on the go, in full mode, and high energy. Needless to say I learned that kids moms aren't cool who hoot and holler and toned it down for my daughter's sake and I'm so glad I did as you have to trust the coaches and pray they know what they're doing. Our coach happened to have a great track record and his history spoke volumes so I tried to keep the peace. In addition, the segment on rules for the parents and in the end the kids was the perfect icing on this cake. Rule #7- Get married because you want to not because you have too. MOM and DAD - you should've gave me a heads up that my guy was an A-Hat malignant narcissist. I could've save a bundle in divorce costs and attorney fees. Rule#6- Another goodie. Brag about those bargains ladies and not that Tesla. In fact, this is not a joke. My daughters track coach from high school just passed away over the weekend after her Tesla missed the curve in the road and went down an embankment. The rope rescue had to be used with numerous fire departments to rescue her body and her passengers who later died on route to the hospital. She was 35 - a mom of three teens- and she had spent the past 6 months leading up to it posting how proud she was about her beautiful black shiny Tesla acquired through her hard work via real estate. I always like to tell people be blessed with what you have and appreciate the moment. The closing thought is simply this: Be proud of who you are and all that you've accomplished. Good or bad. Because those growing pains have provided you a lifetime of lessons. Hug your momma and I'll tell you why that's important. I nearly died to have my son 21 years ago. We both fought for our lives to stand here today. Placenta abruptions suck, 3 c-sections all high risk (not watermelons pushing out of vagina's ) but ripping core stomach muscles leaving you unable to even leave stinkers and or role out of bed sucks. Having to watch your child spend two months in NICU after life flight while other kids pass away on beds next to his is a memory I'll never forget. When you are blessed with children, with life, with health, with family and friends- trust me- don't take it for granted. We were homeless upon divorcing, bankrupt, LT unemployed (who wants to hire a mom of three homemaker not worked since 20 yrs prior), and without income, assets, or savings. We are now a family of four in extreme poverty. We take pride in our free meals at the church, playground, and soup kitchens. We stand tall in our meal lines at CEO for free Thanksgiving meals. Why? Because I'm not just a recipient but a twenty year volunteer. I know the pain etched on others faces as they too stand with us in the same line. It's not a hand out but a hand up. Life doesn't work as planned. Yet, you make lemons with lemonade or you die trying. When my son was in NICU I was only able to squeeze a finger in the side hole of his bed as it had to be elevated at a thirty degree angle. When I finally took him home he had a g-tube insertion in which stomach contents leaked out of this same hole used to feed him. I slept on the floor with my mother (RN-OBGYN) and we took turns monitoring the oxygen-sat levels every single night. To make it short: When he came home I lived like it was my last. We stared at rainbows. We caught fire flies. We rolled down windows and felt the cool summer breeze. We jumped in rain puddles and splashed in mud. And why? IT was fun. IT was a sign of life. IT was cool. People today don't know how good they have it because they didn't almost lose it. I'm here to say: Every day is a blessing. My son will be turning 21 this November and this xmas baby turned 5 wks. early Thanksgiving Turkey to this day always hugs me. There's no greater feeling in the world than that ladies and gents. When he graduated high school the kids mocked him and the adults laughed for having a 4 yr perfect attendance. I used to wonder if they'd do the same knowing he almost died. When he graduates in a few months from his two year community college he do so after being offered to make the biggest speech of his life for graduation. Talk about an honor. While doing so having maintained a 4.0 GPA during a pandemic having been medically disabled for life. There's no I in can't but there's no I in team either. It's a group effort to the finish line and I know those reading this book will appreciate the effort this author and mother has put into this work. Thank you for making my day that much brighter with your love, wisdom, and kindness. |
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