Book Review: "Quit Like A Woman" By Holly Whitaker

For starters I want to congratulate Holly Whitaker on numerous accomplishments including uncovering her true self.

I'm not a person who ever drank but I do often get asked -You're not taking anything? Like the doctors are amazed I'm enjoying life -imperfections-flawed-and in poverty unable to secure a job for over 10 years with three brilliant kids.

Surely, there must be something wrong with this picture?! NOPE! Just tired of confirming to fit the mold and that my friend is the golden ticket. Holding on to dignity, morality, compassion, and love for yourself. Why be bitter when we can be better? If I must wait for the world to catch up -so be it!

Holly mentions this new found freedom "Removing alcohol does not remove options-it creates more of them. By no longer consuming a depressant that fuels your anxiety, an anesthetic that limits the depth of your feelings, a neurotoxin that impairs brain function to the point of forgetting the best parts of the night, and a poison that requires a long recovery period post consumption, you are choosing to have fun."

Isn't this the point of life -Enjoy, Enjoy the great outdoors- Oh, wait that's Manny Gordon! Ok, it's to have fun and be darn sure you do some yoga, meditate, create a vision board, follow your heart, and don't give a rats arse what others think of you.

Who cares how long you've been sober?! Who cares that you did it your way or that your way required several therapists and a great social network?!

The point is to be happy and comfortable in your own skin. That's the key to being authentically you. Embrace your unique self. Love yourself.

I've heard some horror stories about AA and it reminds me of the time when white men thought they ruled the world...Oh, wait that is still a current thought...

Ok, well you know white supremacy and the male ego are a strong hold in America today and it's no surprise that the 30's take away was the AA -12 step program- that these upper class white men authorized and enforced like the Holy Bible.

As this author beautifully illustrates," They enjoyed unquestioned authority and unchecked power, and their ego-or way of dealing with reality-was developed through that experience. Their ego was formed to believe it was above the law, above reproach, that it was smarter than any set of rules."

She goes on to note on p. 125- "I've been conditioned to fit my feminine self into a masculine system that rewards achievement and productivity-even though this system typically rewards the male gender for these things more than the female or nonbinary genders."

This is the 'Oprah-moment' folks and it's something I've been preaching as a feminist for years.

We must stand up for one another and not wear one another down.
We have to understand that the rules aren't made for all but for the chosen few. The rich are getting richer and the poor and getting poorer.

What we see today is the the 'chosen ones' preaching and extending the branch to their fellow kind but not to those who need it the most.

I'm especially taken by the way in which she describes the AA and the entire idea behind admitting to the 'blame, shame, fault' game as if society and these big corporations aren't responsible for the addictive merchandise they specifically target to those who often finds themselves falling upon hard times and sick of their current life who turn to such items like tobacco, alcohol, and drugs.

What I've come to learn is similar to this author's struggles with sobriety which is simply this: Only you can save yourself. Only you can pull yourself up from the brink of your deepest despair. Only you can find like minded individuals who will support you and lift you up not pull you down.

People will promise you the world, they will appear kind and considerate , they will walk away when you're down.

They will not be their in the end and neither will your family or friends unless you're blessed.
You will find that recovery is the resistance but it's not the end!

As a survivor of abuse and a woman in extreme poverty I know the pain you speak quite well. I've been through the 'tobacco road and life of hard knocks' and in many cases still reside there.

Yet, I would rather be in poverty than be told to sell my soul to the devil to get a boost in life.
Believe that!

You are not a lesser human being because you are perfectly flawed. One should not feel shamed, blamed, or faulted for such a disease.

What you should feel is liberated, invigorated, and alive to tell your story that will help countless individuals suffering from the same.

Stand tall, stand proud, stand for something or fall for anything.

Much love to all those who are dealing with such pain as this book will surely be beneficial to everyone regardless of what your situation may well be.